Progressing through Failure

by Jennifer on May 1, 2016

I failed.  I was supposed to write for 30 days straight.  It was not a marketing ploy; the goal was to become comfortable with being uncomfortable about publishing my writing.  My coach made the suggestion as I hadn’t posted a blog post that wasn’t a quote in four years. And I failed.  However, it doesn’t feel like I failed.  First, I have published a bunch of writing in the last three weeks. Second, and most important, I’m writing this right now to either continue the original 30-day post challenge or to start a new challenge. In the past, I would not have come back this soon.  It may have taken me a week, a month, or a decade to think about picking up where I left off.  This is major progress.

How do you view failure? Do you view it as a stomp down or a stepping stone?

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Robustness and Fragility

by Jennifer on April 25, 2016

Without robustness all relationships become defined by their fragility, wither and begin to die. David Whyte

Reading David Whyte’s essay on Robustness in his book, Consolations, I began to think of the choice between robustness and fragility.  Robustness is defined as, “the property of being strong and healthy in constitution.”  On the other hand, fragility is described as, “the quality of being easily broken or damaged.” Every choice we make either moves us towards robustness or towards fragility.  Of course, we are all going to have choices reflective of each; it will never be 100% robustness or 100% fragility.  A great goal would be to increase the ratio of robustness to fragility decisions over time. When you have a trauma background, it can seem impossible to tip the scale towards robustness.  However, with the help of a great therapist or coach, and patience, it can be done.

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Rising

April 24, 2016

Rising after a big failure is remarkable.  Putting feet on the floor and lifting yourself out of bed after experiencing a major loss of any sort – when it has been burnt to the ground – is not something to take lightly and needs to be applauded. This is not the rising I’m thinking about. […]

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Unspeakable Conversations

April 22, 2016

“’This wasn’t my first experience living under a regime of unspeakable subjects. I was well-practice. After my mother died, my father mandated that she not be mentioned, so by the time my conscious memory of childhood kicks in, I was already trained to short-circuit the flow between my thoughts and my voice…rendering my speech a […]

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Ever After

April 20, 2016

The weight loss, the leaving of a marriage that no longer works, the wedding, the hiring, the graduation, the cradling of the baby after birth….the story always ends here.  And yet, in all the important ways, the story is just beginning. I recently had a similar experience; yesterday, to be exact.  My house, my very […]

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Overcoming

April 19, 2016

Many people seek out help from a coach with a desire to overcome:  their weight; their body; their relationship; their divorce; their heartbreak; their children; their debt, their career or lack thereof; their religion; their mistakes; their depression; their family of origin, their abuse, or their sexual trauma. How do I know this? I wanted […]

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Same Time Next Year, Now

March 15, 2016

Last year, while scrolling through my Twitter feed, I came across a tweet, which I have paraphrased below: “Resilience is not success. Success is not having the same problems next year that you have now.” To say this quote affected me would be an understatement.  In many ways, it has become part of my true […]

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Pondering

December 6, 2015

Love:  A way of being that is forgiving, nurturing, and supportive. It does not proceed from the mind; rather, it emanates from the heart. Love focuses on the essence of the situation, not the details. It deals with the wholes, not particulars. As perception is replaced with vision, it takes no position and see the […]

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Pondering

November 29, 2015

Weight loss is about gaining life. – Marc David    

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Pondering

November 22, 2015

The four great questions humans must answer are:  What is reality? What is the good life? Who is a good person? And, how do you become a good person? – Dallas Willard I have no idea why I have felt the need to post two straight weeks from Christians.  I once heard Dallas Willard speak […]

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